Match

Letter #127

Hi, Greenonion:

I have combed this site like a kid who’s lost his favorite color crayon somewhere at his friend’s house, and your oddly third person profile definitely takes the cake for being fun, provocative, and jaw-dropping. With your ear muffs in the summer, footstomps on pigeons, spoof on Asian-girl stereotype, and tummy-bared come-ons to the yearning romanticism lurking in the heart and groin of every man who can lift a shaker of salt over his fries, your totally wild-ass play is irresistible.

“Lucky to have you”? Honey, are you kidding me? You are the type of woman men kill themselves for. You’re Dante’s Beatrice. John Donne’s Anne. Humbert Humbert’s lovebug. Sappho’s cliff dive. Joyce’s Nora. You are the top button of every woman’s blouse, undone, undoing. Men forget their wives, children, families, jobs, careers, continents just to feel your breath near theirs. Your chronic “headache” and 24/7 “madness” would be well worth the bargain to have you in my life.

Egbert