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Go on a date!
Dear Grannyluv:
Good day, and how do you do? I read your profile with some interest, and feel tempted now to woo you in the only way that I know possible: by myself. If I had a friend, or several, to describe me in my first paragraph, this it what they would tell you about me: he is absolutely brilliant, a genius, hysterically funny, a most excellent listener, really quite splendid in areas where it counts bigtime, and cute as a button. But, without them around to do my dirty-work for me, I'll have to skip that portion of my courtship.
Now that I've put my ventriloquist back in his box, it's time for me to talk. You are lovely and beautiful, but how on earth can a man "woo" you in the old-fashioned (by the way, it's got an -ed on the end, like use to used to, too), when you've got the audacity to post two pictures of Johnny-come-latelies hanging on you like wallpaper? Seriously, you're far too attractive to present yourself to qualified gentlemen aspiring to wrap their arms around your pleasure domes like that. Any mom who knows what a pinch of salt is worth would tell you the same. Even if the dudes are your brothers, it's all what you project, honey. It's all in what you show them. And don't. Nobody's going to come 'round the corner and sweep you off your feet if your torso is held by another. Especially with that threatening shot of you kicking the guy in the groin. Ouch! That pic of you teeing off? I'm just gonna cover my fig leaf and close my eyes for the rest.
Egbert
# 30
