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Dear Lemongelato:

 

I've been around folks with a little less education than you who guzzle wine, or "avidly" as you call it. And I've heard people hammer and hammer away at me with their monolithic diatribes, sometimes due to the old vino and sometimes not, and I have pretty much forsworn such "riveting" conversationalists. You do hit one nail smack on the head: "proactive" most certainly is a cover word for aggressive. Part of the problem, as I see it, is by people's using the catch-words and catch-phrases of the day, in spite of their intentions to "say what they mean and do what they say," is that they don't really know and aren't really aware of what their words, metaphors, references, and phrases themselves mean themselves first off; and the result is that unbeknownst to themselves, they do not say at all what they had meant or intended. Everything, as a result, looks like icing, but there really is no cake. One could pass an entire lifetime like this, and every friendship and love affair goes on like another conversation one might have had with strangers in an elevator.

 

That said, it is certainly hard to put oneself out there, to come up in handful of sentences with something original and true. The sadness is that we are all on this site now broadcasting those clumsily put essences of a self we imagine to be ours which we of course wish others had noticed in us themselves. The magic is when another notices our inner magic and from that alone wants to know us more. That is the beginning of true romance, to be noticed, seen, heard like the bluebird sitting on a branch somewhere in the forest.

 

Egbert

# 18

 

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