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Go on a date!
Dear Gretta,
I am truly very sorry to have freaked you out and was aware of my blunders. My "liking you so much" without having met you wasn't about my "having a hole to be filled." Rather, I failed to let you see me just as I am, doubted you would, and threw everything at you to make you "see" me instead. That was the main mistake: forcing you, in effect, to "see" me. I am sorry for making you see me, insisting that you see me the way I did.
Part of my jumping the way I did, however, was also innocent. When I ran across your profile, you immediately struck me as someone worth knowing—someone who was quite the exception to the usual crowd of faces on Match. I leapt out of joy, out of yes, a joyous fantasy, that there was someone here smart and whole and fascinating---as I see myself as, and when I find others in life like this, pursue in them sometimes friendship and sometimes love.
So while I am sorry for how I went about approaching you, I wish that you might also understand that I was just overjoyed over even the possibility of knowing someone really worth knowing. At the root, it's just that simple. My approach to you was still terrible, maladroit, overbearing, and, yes, obssessive; but, it was a knee-jerk response to a feeling of joy. And joy, in my book, is a very good thing.
I am asking you to reconsider, and to get to know me, and me you, little by little; and if it works, great; if not, then not; and to let that take, whichever way it goes, however much time it needs to take--and not let my initial blunderbuss ways blow it all away.
I know: I wasn't patient; I let nothing percolate. I am asking you to do both; I will do the same myself. Promise. And we both might find a new friend in each other--and Lord knows how precious that really is.
If nothing more is to come of this, I really am sorry, as I said at the beginning, that I freaked you out.
Egbert
# 151
