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Dear Kurn44,
Fascinating profile, one of the few that made me think--and read it through again. I don't think you're cruel at all; you're just trying to break it down, figure out what kind of guy is out there, and what are the odds of you bumping into him. In a nutshell, you definitely have a bias (and I don't mean this as a judgment, just as a statistic) favoring available women: 10:1, right? I mean, with your insights, and let's assume they're correct, a decent guy is in a tough situation; after all, divorced men are the "outcasts," and Match then becomes the dumping ground, the landfill stuffed with abusive, dirty, alcoholic losers, etc. If the way you see things is indeed correct, it may help explain some of the trouble I myself have had here.
There's one comment that I don't get in your profile, the one about "good men [who] tend to not leave bad marriages." Why do you imagine this to be so, if it is? It flies in the face, I think, of the cultural stereotype, you know, of the good dutiful woman as mother to her family's children sticking out a bad marriage for their sake. But this stereotype you up-end. What possible reason would a good guy stay in a marriage that doesn't work for him? I know I didn't.
We're obviously too far apart to have anything personal happen between us, but we could definitely, I think, have a worthwhile conversation over these things that might shine a little light on your path and mine.
Egbert
# 150
