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DEAR ELOISE12222:
SINCE YOUR PROFILE IS IN CAPITAL LETTERS, I'M GOING TO WRITE YOU THE SAME WAY. I HAVE READ PLATO IN GREEK AND I CAN REPLACE A KITCHEN FAUCET. I CAN CHOP WOOD AND SKI FAST. I AM PASSIONATE, HIGHLY RESPECTED AT WORK; AND A PUBLISHED, BUT LESS WELL-KNOWN, WRITER.
ELLEN, IF THAT'S YOUR NAME, I BET YOU ARE BEATING OFF MEN LIKE FLIES ON A HOT SUMMER DAY BY NOW. WHY, BECAUSE YOU ARE THE ONLY ATTRACTIVE WOMAN ON THE INTERNET WITH BARE KNEES WHO IS NOT SAYING "MARRIAGE" IN ONE HAND, AND HOLDING A NOOSE IN THE OTHER.
MAYBE THIS DOESN'T SEEM LIKE IT, (MAYBE IT'S THE CAPITAL LETTERS MAKING ME BE THIS WAY), BUT I REALLY AM A "MATURE, INTELLIGENT, OUTGOING MAN." SERIOUSLY, YOU SOUND INTELLIGENT & FUN (A RARE AND WHOLLY DESIRABLE COMBINATION IN MY WORLD, AS YOU CAN SEE), BUT WATCH OUT: THERE ARE MILLIONS OF DOPES AND KNUCKLEHEADS OUT THERE. I COULD BE ONE MYSELF OF COURSE, BUT YOU CAN TELL, EXCEPT FOR THESE DAMN CAPITAL LETTERS THAT ARE DOING ME IN, THAT I'M NOT.
WRITE ME BACK! DO IT IN LITTLE LETTERS, PLEASE; AND LET'S SEE THE DIFFERENCE IT MAKES.
yrs.,
Egbert
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