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First the world in all her glory must be stripped of all her flowers. This is done to delimit the field. This is done to achieve openness. The world and all its manifestations of glory must be stripped. Pulled out from the root. This is called pulling out from the roots the Christ within.

 

In every small mind is a large killer. To fear the killer is to leave in command only what is known as small mind. To achieve great mind, the killer in Christ must be crucified. This is known as crucifying the Christ within.

 

NOW; When I was very small boy I played on the dock fishing. And with my buddy Joey we would be catching the Shiners. These are the very small fish which are later growing up to be the bluefish. We would be calling them the Shiners because when they are reflecting the sunlight beneath the water, they shine. Their scales are scintillating like some diamonds and are worth more than that. Memory of one's boyhood has no such value that you can put the finger on. And we would pass away the summer hours playing fishing off the dock, and catching the Shiners there. These we would put in the bucket. But not right away! Whenever we catch one, we first smash it. We slap it hard there. We have it caught on the hook so it cannot move away, and holding the Shiner in the air where it can no longer breathe, panting the air the little fish, we would make an arc-swinging shape with the fishing-line and slap the Shiner fish hard against the wooden boards of the dock to smash out its eyes and stop it from ever breathing. This we would do most often before placing the dead fish in the bucket.

 

Make a list of twelve mean things you did under age ten:

 

1. ____________________________________________

 

2. ____________________________________________

 

3. ____________________________________________

 

4. ____________________________________________

 

5. ____________________________________________

 

6. ____________________________________________

 

7. ____________________________________________

 

8. ____________________________________________

 

9. ____________________________________________

 

10. ____________________________________________

 

Now tear out from your book list and throw list away. It's useless.

 

So many mean and terrible things are done to us in our lifetimes we need to forget. Once he say to me my son, when I say to him: Do you remember how terrible I was to you at picnic table in Opal Valley—No, Dad, I don't. Really, I said, and thought: How amazing? I make him past dark clean mud off ice pick he was throwing into ground to punish him. I am hiding my ill-will as lesson about responsibility and taking care of things, like tools, and he cannot remember the malice in my voice. I am surprised. He says: I choose to remember good things. Why remember bad ones? This sound to me so smart.

 

I am boy and every day I have coin collection I love. My father puts under pillow silver quarters for teeth I lose. I have red metal safe which has two keys. Today I only have key, only one. But I have not safe and I have not any coins. My father is married again and his new wife sells all my collection. It take me eleven years actually to build. It is complete set of Liberty Nickels too. I have 1929 2 1/2 dollars Indian Head Gold piece. In all, it is worth many thousands of dollars. My bad memory of remembering this hurt only me! It not hurt my father's wife at all. She happy! It not hurt my father. He not remember! Only I hurt. We attach ourselves to our memories. Sometime they like arrows in target practice. Remember: the archer never suffer! Only target. Ouch! Letting go of pain is very difficult sometime. You think when you twist ankle that pain has meaning? How many time we tell over and over again in our life the very worst things that happens to us? How many people they die? How many lover we cheat! How many baby we lose? How many beer we drink and then smash ourselves in wall? How much money we lose? We think we something for all things we have experience and lost. But we not. What we lost is just gone. It has no importance. It is nothing. When you make your life out of nothing, you become same as that.

 

I still sometime wake up in middle of night full of anxiety and hate and my body feels a cold sweat on it about my lost coin collection. Most of time it does not bother me because it is just gone. But sometime it do. I still sometime live like it exist but it don't. When it do bother me it mean I am not accepting truth yet. And because I am not accepting truth yet it very painful. Not because I don't have no coin collection any more! Not accepting what is true is painful, not that it is gone. It is gone is just a fact. And if I have it now today, then that is a different fact.

 

Name three people who have hurt you very bad in your life:

 

1. _____________________

 

2. _____________________

 

3. _____________________

 

Now for one person who have hurt you, push in your shoe thumbtack for one person one day. Listen to your shoe sounding every step you making all one day. Now for second day, push in second thumbtack and do same thing. You listen to two thumbtack sounding every step you make all one day. Now for third day, you push in your shoe three thumbtack, and listen the same way.

 

When you live thinking about people who in past bring you any harm, you are walking with thumbtacks in your shoes. It is very annoying habit! And it is very annoying other people you are with. Take them out. Throw them away. Not the shoes! Never speak of them again. And don't bother other people with your thumbtacks either. It is not right. They go in garbage.

 

"A pity-evoking depiction of the nexus between spirituality and alcoholism."

 

-Egbert Starr

 

 

"I hated it. So preachy."

 

-M. Petersen

 

 

"I laughed and laughed and laughed. My kids asked what I was laughing at, and I wouldn't show them."

 

-N. Hendrix

Crucifying Audio

The world is like a field of roses.

Spread out in the heavens. Every

one gets plucked. Every flower. Rose

by rose every rose gets plucked

from the world. The field gets

smaller. Every time a rose is plucked.

The heavens spread open. The field

opens. There are fewer flowers left.

Every time one is picked. Finally,

when they are all gone, there is

nothing left except an animal. A

mongoose. Perhaps. A rabbit.

Perhaps. A serpent. Maybe that too.

The animal is I. The animal is you.

The animal is dada. It is important to

know which animal you are. It is

important to know which is your

animal. And then kill it. This is

known as killing the Christ within.

Crucifying the Christ Within:

A Personal Guide to Self-Damnation

Openly alcoholic and ever jovial New Age guru Yonni Jackson dishes out advice to people willing to buy into his self-serving spiritual nonsense. Spiritual exercises include tearing pages out of the book itself, or putting thumbtacks in your shoes to show just how annoying it is to have to put up listening to other people constantly talk about their problems.

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